Scott and I have been together over 10 years now. As a tease, he occasionally looks over at me and says “How did I get here?” and we laugh. As if, he’s the only one who has arrived at year 10. 😊 I recently thanked my friend Haileigh, who set us up on a blind date on January 17th, 2014. The reality is, 10 years ago neither one of us could’ve guessed that we would be married, raising our 5th child, own a restaurant, travel with a band and have buried a parent. All in just 10 short years.
How did we get, here?
Here, we find ourselves approaching the incredible, beautiful season of fall in the abundantly blessed Lancaster County region. It is a time of life each year that I must grieve and ask God for strength. Strength to know, that the smell of crisp fall air and combining of corn isn’t to be feared. The strength to walk in faith knowing each day has already been ordained, just for me. A new day, each day. Not yesterday, not last year. Not the day I told Dad it was okay to let go. Or the day our girls left.
Mumsy getting sick as well, has brought on another sense of trauma that I wish on no one. That too, was a build up over fall, last year. & here I sit to cry looking at old photos of what was. Of what was Dad, of what was our big happy girl gang of giggly children, that we pray will be, again, & soon.
How did we get, here?
When I enter a new season, either by our physical whether patterns or by change in life’s rhythms, it comes with great joy and also deep grief. It’s the closing of a chapter, and recently moving up in age to the next set of years. It’s realizing that we are approaching 3 years without my Dad. Three. Years. How will we have a teenager next month? As the leaves drop, I feel the emotions come and I breath deep to pray asking God to continue working in my heart for more of him, and less of me. Our flesh will fail us. Psalms 51:10 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I want the heart of the Father at all times, even when life feels as if we have lost a sense of what, was.
I want to offer encouragement for you if you are in a season of waiting, or a chapter where the light seems farther away than you had hoped. Thankfully, we can keep running towards His light; towards an unfailing God who desires relationship with us, to pray, and ask Him to move. Although we may laugh at times, its no secret how Scott and I got here. We have been given boundless grace, and mercy through prayer and petition for the story that’s being written just for us. To be continued.
The best ever trip we took with my Dad in his last months, visiting my sister in Florida, March of 2021 - My "Girl Gang"... we were beyond sun-kissed and HOT :)
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